missingkitsune:

"There there, I’m sorry I scared you. *pats and kisses* you’re a good dog, good dog."
ATTENTION

skelezor:

TONIGHT BEGINS THE MONTH OF THE SPOOKENING. SKELETONS NOW HAVE DOUBLED CALCIUM LEVELS. 

B E W A R E ~ F U C K B O Y S

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sashaalexanderisalesbianatheart:

annabellioncourt:

YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR THAT PUN

I laughed so hard I can’t even.
tastefullyoffensive:

[autumnx]

mytholizzie:

copdoccubus:

punkshadowthief:

sparksel:

commandershepardofficial:

thefrillyqueer:

hayhtam:

things to consider:

  • lady assassins 
  • lady assassins WITH GIRLFRIENDS 

But also:

  • lady assassins with girlfriends who are ALSO lady assassins

lady assassins with girlfriends who are also lady assassins but they don’t know about each other’s secret double life

Mrs and mrs smith

Staring Natalie Dormer

And Lucy Liu 

You’re welcome.

dragonkazooie:

kinds of pairings i’m all about

  • height differences
  • high contrasting designs like light and dark colors
  • happy one with the grumpy one

bonus points if

  • the grumpy one gets embarrassed by kisses
  • the short one is the grumpy one
  • the happy one’s presence makes the grumpy one really shy
tell us your most embarrassing story
Anonymous

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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